As humans, our unique ability to connect to others is what makes us so special in this world. We bond, attach, and form relationships with other humans to get through this life. It’s in our blood, we’re built to be social creatures that somehow thrive on community. These bonds actually have names, funny enough, and they’re called attachment styles. They usually happen with our first caregivers, likely a parent. It’s a poignant and fundamental relationship that occurs early in our youth and carries on when we are older. That’s right, we generally tend to keep these well into adulthood.
There are four attachment styles and they are secure, dismissive-avoidant, anxious-preoccupied, and fearful-avoidant or disorganized. We did some research to find out more about how these attachment styles affect us in daily life and what they’re like. Keep reading below!
What’s Your Type of Attachment Style?
This attachment style usually occurs with the type of parents who use an authoritative parenting style to raise their children, according to Scientific American. They are happy to be with their parents, but they are confident enough to explore the world on their own. Secure attachment styles grow up as secure people who are firm and stand their ground, yet are warm and love independence. They are great problem solvers who love life and communicate well. They’re usually raised by parents who are secure themselves as well.
This type of attachment style is rooted in a fear of abandonment and insecurity of being underappreciated, according to MBG. Around 19% of people have this type of attachment style. Their inner world feels uncertain to them. They feel nervous about being away from friends, family, and their partners all the time. Sometimes, this is to the point where they have preoccupied attachment disorder.
This way of relating to people, the fearful-avoidant style, is both anxious and avoidant. It’s both reluctance to engage in a close relationship but also a dire need to be loved to be others, according to MBG. Avoiding intimacy with others and willfully craving attention. If this is your attachment style then you often tend to push others away out of a fear of intimacy. It’s a pretty rare attachment style. Why this happens is anyone’s guess.
Disorganized attachment is when a child doesn’t view their parent as a secure base because they cannot get their emotional or physical needs met, according to Parenting for Brain. This style is also dissociative as well. This usually occurs due to trauma or can be super random as well. It also could be super weird behavior. One minute its closeness, the next it’s complete ignorance. This is also a rare form of attachment style.