Feeling less connected with your partner over the last few months? While the honeymoon phase might well be over, identifying what’s not working in your relationship can be easier said than done. It can be daunting to think about, especially if you’ve been together for many years and put in the hard yards in your relationship – but it’s always better to identify what isn’t working sooner than later! Take a look at some signs it’s time to call it quits, see if you relate to any of these reasons and how to know when it’s time to rip off the bandaid. Dr. Lurve gives us all of the insider information.
Here’s How to Know When to Call It Quits on Your Relationship, According to an Expert
You’re not being seen
Always feel like you’re not doing enough for your partner when you try your best? It might be that they aren’t taking the time to appreciate you — if you drop everything for them without question, but feel like a burden when you need something in return, it’s time to find someone who will acknowledge your efforts and reciprocate within the relationship. If you feel this way, talk to your partner and try to work it out first — if they see nothing wrong with their actions, it’ll speak louder than words.
You’re not open with each other
A healthy relationship always has open lines of communication — discussing issues or venting about work can bring you closer together. If you avoid talking or find it to be more of a chore, it’s easy for one of you to become less interested in the relationship. A lack of communication for long periods of time can drive a wedge between you, making it easier for one of you to emotionally check-out. Build a bridge and open the lines of communication by going for a casual dinner to talk things out — if you end up arguing or struggling to have a normal conversation, it’s time to move on.
At the end of the day, every couple has their days where they have a fight. It’s actually proven to be the sign of a healthy relationship, but only when it’s followed by conflict resolution and actionable efforts. If you’re arguing with your partner over an issue, having resolved the issue and moving on from it is a good sign. Although, if it’s a recurring issue that always ends up being swept under the rug, it means neither of you are ready to fully let go of your ego and move on from the issue at hand. You both think you’re in the right and unwilling to make compromises and sacrifices for the sake of your pride. You both value your pride more than each other, work on putting the issue to rest if you both want the relationship to continue.
Repetitive or non-existent sex
The start of any relationship can be exciting as you learn about each other’s bodies and what you both like in the bedroom, but once you’re used to each other sometimes sex can become more like you’re hitting auto-pilot than turbulence. Ebbs and flows in your sex life is totally normal, but a dull routine that has you begging for it to be over can mean your sexual chemistry has fizzled out. Keep the fire alive by trying a new position or introducing a new element to your sex life that you’ll both enjoy — if the desire to even try rekindle your love life with your partner has gone altogether, you’ll know it’s time. Figuring out the signs that your relationship has come to a stand still can be confronting, but once the glass shatters and you open your eyes to issues in your relationship, ending it will seem like the only thing that makes sense.
As Australia’s leading expert on all things love, Dr. Lurve specializes in helping people navigate the science and metaphysics of relationships. A modern-day cupid for individuals discovering self-love, singles ready to find love, and couples ready to make love last forever, she is the singular authority on how to make relationships work. The Lurve Lab is where Dr. Lurve keeps her signature series of courses, classes, and intensives for those ready to find, cultivate, and keep love. From discovering chemistry to transforming love gone wrong, Dr. Lurve guides couples in creating connections that can last a lifetime.