Sometimes the biggest enemy in the room is ourselves. We often talk about having compassion for others, but what about when it’s time to focus on ourselves? What about resilience and how it can help us? Most of us learn to be quite hard on ourselves, criticizing ourselves for every perceived misstep, and comparing ourselves to others and finding ways we think we’re coming up short. It’s like there’s a bully living inside our mind, belittling us every chance it gets. To build resilience and achieve our goals, we need to have an inner ally and friend, not an inner bully. Self-compassion helps us make this vitally important shift. We interviewed Dr. Gail Gazelle MD, Assistant Professor of Medicine at Harvard Medical School and Master Certified Coach for physicians shares four incredible tips on how to implement self-compassion into our daily lives. Keep reading for more tips on self-compassion and how you can implement them into your day!
Here Are 4 Tips on Self-Compassion and How You Can Implement it Into Your Day
1) Notice when you are struggling or going through something hard, be kind to yourself
Many of us can be very compassionate toward others but just the opposite toward ourselves. Simply noticing when we are the one who is going through something difficult can help remind us that we deserve compassion too.
2) Especially during the pandemic, remind yourself that what you’re experiencing is difficult
The pandemic has created hardship for many, from fears about contagion to the demands of childrearing, to shifts in our roles at work. Simply pausing to remind oneself of this can help us see that we need to be kind, gentle, and patient with ourselves. This is an incredibly difficult time and quite rare for us to experience.
3) Remind yourself that self-compassion is not selfish
When people hear ‘self-compassion’ they may think it’s selfish, or just some sort of self-indulgent pity party. When you think about it, however, you begin to see that all the self-criticism we can find ourselves engaging in is actually pretty self-centered! With self-compassion, we’re actually acknowledging the reality that we all have challenges, we all suffer. Far from being self-indulgent, self-compassion helps us realize the shared human experience we are all a part of. We have to be kind to ourselves, it is an important part of the human puzzle. It is that self-compassion that allows you to be there for the people that you love, fully. When you are mentally stable yourself, you can (when you want and can) provide your support for them if they are also going through a tough time.
4) When you notice that you’re being hard on yourself, push yourself to say something kind to yourself
To reverse patterns of self-criticism, we have to bring mindful awareness to this pattern. Once we do, the key step is going out of our way to bring kindness to ourselves. We can place a hand over the area of our heart, and tell ourselves the same kind words we would say to someone we loved who was going through something difficult. You are deserving of happiness and peace, especially. Speaking to ourselves kindly is so important. Have you ever tried daily affirmations and guided journals? They can help you transform your subconscious into a place where you feel more at peace and happy about yourself There are so many reasons that journaling is powerful is a great way to get everything that’s on your mind, out on paper.
