Going into the New Year single and ready to mingle has plenty of benefits, and while cuffing season is over, we tend to cuff ourselves to relationships in the cooler, less social months—more people are starting to play the field. It’s no surprise that today’s dating climate consists mainly of mobile dating apps and a ‘catch flights, not feelings’ mentality. So when it comes to online dating apps like Tinder, how can you figure out who’s going to be a good time and who’s going to waste your time? The last thing you want during summer is a date that’s self-absorbed and is going to end up on your do-not-call list in a couple of month’s time. Dating a narcissist is hard to identify until it’s too late and leaving the relationship with little self-esteem and a big broken heart.
Narcissists have a talent for making themselves feel like the most important person in the room by making you feel lesser than; their level of self-importance along with the need for excessive attention to boost their self-esteem is a recipe for online dating disaster. Save yourself the heartbreak and headaches by checking out these signs that show your Tinder date is probably a narcissist.
1) They seem too good to be true on dating apps
There are charming people, and there are charming narcissists – the former will charm you with their personality, while the latter will inflate themselves into someone they think you want, and change to their true form when you’re hooked. Sounds almost alien-like, doesn’t it? Well, these people are experts in disguising their real selves, which is very easy to do online.
They’re so charming they might even declare their love and adoration for you pretty soon, so if you’re thinking that they don’t know you well enough to really feel this way, you’re right. Real love takes time, nurture and growth, while lust makes you fall hard and fast; the relationship will be over quicker than it started!
2) They don’t have friends
In the beginning, they might talk about mates they have or memories from school days, but in actuality, narcissists have very few long term friends. The friends they have now might be new and are yet to see their true identity, whereas someone with long term friends means people want to stick with them.
Look closely at their personal relationships, you might come to find it’s more acquaintances and work buddies than real mates. This also shows when they become jealous if you hang out with your friends instead of them; a real relationship allows room for all relationships, not just you and your partners.
3) They don’t like labels
If you’ve been online dating this person for a while, it’s normal to want to figure out where things are headed and if you see yourself dating long term. The longer you’re exclusive to them, the more invested you become, but for a narcissist, they want the best of both worlds.
They can keep the benefits of someone that gives them attention and validation while being able to look around for other dating prospects. Talk about how you feel and confront them, if they continue to blame you for making a big deal out of it, you know your answer; if they truly want to be with you, they will make it happen.
4) They love talking about themselves
At the beginning of online dating, you get to know someone and they get to know you; you find out interesting information and create a deeper bond by learning about each other’s lives. The conversation is always fascinating, but with a narcissist, it’s hard to get a word in – not only do they love talking about how fantastic they are, but they don’t seem to listen when it’s your turn to talk.
Something as fundamental as communication is vital in the beginning and will show you how this person will be for the duration of the relationship. Talking about themselves makes them feel superior and creates a bubble of self-assurance. If you find it difficult to talk about your own accomplishments without them turning it into their own narrative, know you deserve to be heard.
5) They thrive off compliments
Look, we all love a little praise here and there don’t we? With narcissists, it’s practically their lifeblood. They might seem all cool and confident in dating apps. But when you meet them, but most people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder have very low self-esteem. I guess they take ‘fake it til you make it’ a bit too seriously.
Someone who is truly self-confident will not look solely to others to make them feel better as they know how to do that within themselves. A narcissist feeds off compliments, adoration, and praise from outside sources, they’ll even go so far as to fish for it by putting themselves down in front of others. Be with someone who is confident within themselves and will, in turn, put confidence in you, without making you feel bad because they want to feel better.