First there was ‘ghosting,’ then there was ‘bread crumbing’ and now there’s a whole host of new ways to be ditched/dumped/ignored that you can add to your list of ‘reasons to believe romance is dead’ 2019 dating repertoire. Cynical? Maybe. But speaking from experience… it’s a cruel world out there for singles. Being a millennial in the dating game today could be considered the equivalent of being a meat eater choosing to enter a room of strong spirited vegans… scary, debilitating to your self worth and self sacrificing. With ghosting the new ‘norm’ and ‘bread crumbs‘ sprinkled throughout our social media notifications (looking at you lurker of a year who won’t just let me go…), giving us just a little to keep us hopeful, we’ve now got ‘curving,’ ‘prowling,’ and ‘throning’ to contend with—cue the tequila.
Not only amidst the apps that promise to find us our dream partner and in reality just give us poor chat (if any), RSI (from left swiping) and a deep pit in our stomach (as we begin to fathom our potential future as a crazy cat lady), there’s now a series of new ways to be sucker punched. We’ve rounded them up to save you the trouble of learning them first hand…you’re welcome? Curving, or ‘swerving’ as it should be known, is the latest online dating habit whereby someone finds subtle ways to avoid you by (as a means for letting you down lightly), without technically telling you they aren’t interested. How does it differentiate to ghosting? Well, unlike when someone vanishes off the earth and becomes basically invisible, cutting off all communication as if they never existed, curving is a subtle art that involves lingering ever so slightly, just enough to keep someone cruelly attached to hope, but without any sure sign of commitment. Characteristics of a curver involve – leaving you hanging for days and then only sending short replies, never initiating conversations or asking follow-up questions and contacting only enough to keep the flame alight, but no more than necessary.
Then there’s ‘prowling’—the equivalent of ghosting 2.0. Prowling is when someone who ghosts you decides to make a reappearance via social/app/texts, dropping you a casual message as if nothing ever happened. Prowling tends to be heightened when the guy/girl has a break from dating and then suddenly gets FOMO when they realise you’re still hot/talented/killing it in the industry and realises they potentially missed out. The most frustrating part is that they go from being a ghost to a sudden visible spirit with no apologies, accountability or even flattery, all of a sudden, they are just there, pulling on the heart strings that had just managed to weave themselves back up again. Haven’t lost you yet? Well then this last one is sure to leave you disillusioned by romance forever. Thanks to social media, ‘throning’—dating someone to boost your personal profile or reputation—is now an actual thing. The equivalent of being a social ‘gold digger’—someone seeking their way to the social media ‘throne’ will do anything (or date anyone) to clawing their way to social media royalty (think social stats and far-fetched blue tick goals) and will gladly leverage off their partner to boost their own profile. Think a next level groupie who will do just about anything to gain followers and free stuff… Scarred? Well don’t worry, if anything, we’ve still got one good trend on our side—‘sneating’ (sneaky eating—where a woman goes on a date to score a free meal)… and obvious morals aside, after how much we go through… can you blame us? Girls’ got to do what a girls’ got to do… (and two can play at the fierce dating game)… am I right?