I don’t really think I need to explain why chocolate is so ridiculously tasty. We’ve all tried it, so I’m sure most of us have a similar opinion – it’s totes ridic!
And to those that don’t think so (you’re weirdos), I suggest you just stop reading now and go and eat some kale and let the grown ups talk about the sexiness that is ‘chocolat’ (says me in my best French accent for extra effect).
So without further adieu, let’s get this party started with the five reasons that everyone (or those that are normal) shouldn’t ever banish chocolate from their diet.
[Preface: When I’m talking about chocolate, the rule I like to use is “The closer to the real bean means more lean”. So before you start reaching for Mr Caramello Koala, you should ensure that he has a cacao content above 70 per cent and lacks a gooey belly of ridiculously delicious caramel. Also, the reasons listed below are based on a few pieces of chocolate and do not give you thumbs up to attempt increasing Australia’s annual quota by 10 per cent, by yourself, in one sitting.]
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Chocolate should stay in your diet forever
REASON 1: Because Mum said so
Science tells us that chocolate comes from cacao, which comes from a tree.
A tree is a plant.
Therefore that makes chocolate a salad, and I don’t know about you, but my Mum always told me I had to eat my salad.
Who said you can’t win friends with salad?
REASON 2: Because it’s healthy for your body
Antioxidant-rich diets have been linked to many health benefits such as lowering your risk of heart attacks, cancer, high blood pressure, cholesterol and so on.
When it comes to antioxidants, chocolate rocks the socks off most other antioxidant-rich products such as red wine, green tea and blueberries.
Chocolate releases feel good hormones called endorphins and, as we know thanks to Legally Blonde, “Happy people don’t kill people. They just don’t.”
In all seriousness though, these are the same hormones that are released during exercise, which can have a dramatically positive effect on both your mood and cognitive ability.
This means that you’ll be a happier, smarter and less-likely-to-hit-someone kind of person. #Winning.
REASON 4: Because you’re human
Let me say that again, slowly.
You. Are. Human.
Although I know you’ll try your hardest, you’ll never be able to hide from this fact.
We’re not designed to be perfect, life’s not either. After all, Forrest Gump said it best: “Life’s like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get.”
Life doesn’t have well-defined layers like Cadbury’s Top deck. Instead it’s made up of every color in between, which luckily also includes chocolate.
The key is in moderation, so if you can’t stop at a few pieces, then don’t buy a whole block.
REASON 5: Because you become less annoying and more awesome to be around
No one likes to be told that they “shouldn’t be eating that”.
Especially if that thing is chocolate and, more importantly, when they themselves are drinking a cheap and much less antioxidant-rich red wine whilst they are telling you. (D*cks!)
Let’s face it, unless you have a severe allergy or intolerance, being a chocolate eater will 97.6 per cent of the time make you a better person. With more friends too.