We’ve all been there at some point in our lives, and as we look back we wonder how we survived such a painful yet life-altering experience. You feel physical pain throughout your whole body and it can feel like your world is crumbling. As one of the most common occurrences in our dating life, at the time heartbreak can make you feel like you’re the only person in the whole world to suffer this amount of pain. We have all experienced a break-up and the physical pain you’re feeling isn’t just in your head, here’s what you might be asking yourself during a heartbreak episode below from Dr. Lurve!
Our bodies go through tremendous changes during an episode of heartbreak. It’s a phenomenon that people try to avoid at all costs, resulting in couples staying in relationships that are way past their expiry date because they are so afraid of being alone or feeling that amount of hurt. As we climb higher and higher into a relationship as we fall more in love and become more invested in this person. When the relationship ends we fall hard and fast! One of the main reasons being dumped hurts so much is because the fear of falling off the ladder again is too difficult to bear. We avoid climbing again with a new person because you were sure the last one was ‘the one’, which is why so many of us struggle to get back into the dating game even years after a bad break up.
When we lose someone close to us, whether the demise of a relationship or a real loss, we suffer profound emotional trauma that changes our brain. ‘Broken heart syndrome’ occurs when our stress hormones impact our heart’s movement, resulting in chest pain and shortness of breath. We are then susceptible to stress hormones during a break up because of the disappearance of happy neurochemicals dopamine and oxytocin, which we are filled with from head to toe when we are in love. When love that once made our heart’s beat rapidly comes to a sudden halt, these pleasure chemicals leave us and open the gateway for stress hormones to wreak havoc on the brain and body. Full of cortisol and epinephrine, our brain sends copious amounts of blood to the muscles ready for fight mode; this is why we start to tense up and experience stiff muscles, headaches and chest tightening.
How can you stop feeling heartbroken?
Love can be as addictive as cocaine and when we stop sustaining the addiction cold-turkey, we experience a myriad of withdrawal symptoms. It’s understandable that being without the huge presence of that person can make you feel like there’s a gap in your life; you now need to use that time and energy for yourself.It can be tempting to want to be alone, watch endless rom-coms in your room and devour another packet of biscuits, but isolating yourself is not great for your mental health. Confide in a friend or love coach like myself to vent about your feelings and get some honest, tangible advice you can use on how to start moving forward in life and in love. Other ways to deal with pain is finding a distraction; get involved in the group chat and organize to do a fun trivia night or just go out for some drinks and dance your troubles away!
At the end of the day …
There’s no better time to reflect on what you want to do than right now! Take the opportunity to spend more time with friends or family, start that project you’ve been putting off, or write in your journal for positive reflection.Putting yourself first is now your endgame, eventually your withdrawal symptoms will disappear and you’re ready to launch into your new chapter. If you need help identifying what the difference between love and lust is, or help navigating dating, check out my latest eBooks on my website and start saying yes to you again!
Meet Our Expert
As Australia’s leading expert on all things love, Dr. Lurve specializes in helping people navigate the science and metaphysics of relationships. A modern-day cupid for individuals discovering self-love, singles ready to find love, and couples ready to make love last forever, she is the singular authority on how to make relationships work. The Lurve Lab is where Dr. Lurve keeps her signature series of courses, classes, and intensives for those ready to find, cultivate, and keep love. From discovering chemistry to transforming love gone wrong, Dr. Lurve guides couples in creating connections that can last a lifetime.