Divorce can be a difficult and lengthy experience for everyone involved as it takes a toll on you and your family both emotionally and mentally. Even though your marriage has ended, it can feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. Ready to get back in the swing of dating but saying to yourself “I haven’t been on a first date in years” take a look at a few tips on how you can get back into dating in no time.
Heal yourself first
If you haven’t fully healed from your divorce you will end up bringing unwanted baggage to any new relationships without realizing it. It can be hard to know if you’ll ever fully heal from the divorce but there are ways to identify whether you’ve put it behind you or not. By looking at how the relationship went wrong, you need to ask yourself if you have you and come to terms with the fact that the marriage is over. In order to heal from a marriage break up, you need to be at peace with your ex. Otherwise, your unchecked emotions might come up during a date.
You are your number 1 priority
Before you click download for Bumble or eHarmony, think about the last time you did something for yourself. Putting yourself first for the first time in a long time can be new territory for divorced women. You’ve always had to take care of your family before your own needs.
Life after marriage means you get to do the things you enjoy whether it’s playing your favorite album in the living room on loud, pampering yourself or reading a book in pure silence, whatever makes you happy do it! When you realize the benefits of looking after yourself, you’ll be able to see more. That people that respect what you want and those that don’t.
Take the pressure off
It can be easy to put a lot of pressure on yourself to make sure the date goes smoothly, plus you know you don’t want to come off as lonely or desperate. Play the field and find people you want to casually date; this doesn’t mean you should sleep around! Get to know different people and you’ll be able to discover who you’re compatible with.
Have a go at online dating
The digital age is here for you to embrace and make it easy for you to find single people in your city, plus you get to filter the age, gender, and location – the app does all the hard work for you! It’s a great way to find a date online and chat with people you never would have met in your circle of friends or at work. Be open when chatting, you could have more in common than you might think. It helps break the ice if you go on a first date. Do some research and find out what dating sites and apps work best for your situation.
Let things happen naturally
It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of dating someone new and you’ll want to talk to them every day, but be cautious. Rushing a relationship can put a lot of pressure on your date. Even before they’ve had time to really get to know you. You could potentially scare them off and kill a budding relationship before it had a chance to grow. Try spacing out your dates to once a week, then slowly build up seeing them over a few weeks. Soon you’ll both want to be in an exclusive relationship and see them regularly.
Keep persisting!
Dating can be frustrating at the best of times. Instead of constantly analyzing a failed date with ‘what did I do wrong?’ accept the relationship wasn’t meant to be and move on, it was probably for the best! There will be weeks you have no dates insight and others you’re trying to keep your head above water, remember to keep your options open and follow your heart while listening to your head – your next great love might be just around the corner!
While you’re here, check Dr. Lurve’s advice on whether or not you can stay friends with an ex after a break-up.
